Balancing Compassion and Self-Care

• Sensitive people, including strangers, may want to help those struggling or in pain.

• Thriving as an empath means learning to love yourself as much as you care about the world.

• Set your intention. It is not your job to rescue anyone or fix their problems.

As a hypnotherapist and psychotherapist empath, I'm aware of the difficulties sensitive individuals face in being compassionate and empowered without taking on others' suffering or attempting to "fix" them. Everyone deserves the dignity of following their own path.

Empaths are recognized for having open, loving hearts. We care deeply about others and the world. Many of us also have a special affection for animals and all sentient beings. Our emotions are profound, as is our intuition.

Highly sensitive, empathetic individuals are typically helpers, lovers, and caretakers who often give too much at the cost of their well-being. Research indicates that our mirror neuron system (a part of the brain responsible for compassion) is hyperactive, which can lead to burnout. This is not how I choose to live. I want to be caring, but overhelping or absorbing someone’s distress overwhelms my senses, which is painful to my sensitive body and soul. It also doesn’t help the other person in any lasting way.

Breaking the Rescuer Pattern

Sensitive individuals often possess a deep-seated desire to help those who are struggling or experiencing pain, and this inclination can extend even to complete strangers. Their innate compassion drives them to want to alleviate suffering wherever they see it, whether it be in a friend, family member, or someone they encounter in their daily lives. However, this noble intention can sometimes lead to challenges, particularly when it becomes difficult for them to step back and refrain from attempting to rescue those in distress. This is where it becomes particularly beneficial to understand the nuanced difference between empathy and being an empath. Empathy is characterised by the ability to feel for someone else—your heart resonates with their experiences, allowing you to connect with their emotional state. On the other hand, being an empath goes a step further; it involves not just feeling another's pain but also feeling compelled to reach out and actively take on their emotional burdens in an effort to alleviate their suffering. While this instinct to help is commendable, it is crucial to recognise that healthy empathy is essential for maintaining one’s own emotional balance and well-being. Without this understanding, sensitive individuals may find themselves overwhelmed, losing their own sense of self in the process of trying to help others.

It is completely natural and understandable to want to do whatever you can to assist loved ones who are facing difficulties. The desire to support friends and family during challenging times is often rooted in love and a genuine wish to see them thrive. However, it is important to acknowledge that there comes a point when those loved ones must engage in the work of healing or problem-solving themselves. This realisation can be incredibly frustrating and painful, especially when you witness someone you care about struggling to overcome obstacles. The emotional turmoil that comes from seeing a loved one in distress can evoke a range of feelings, from helplessness to deep sorrow. Yet, getting caught up in their frustration or offering unsolicited suggestions can often prove to be counterproductive, not only for the individual in need but also for yourself. Such actions can drain your emotional energy and leave you feeling depleted, which ultimately hinders your ability to provide support constructively. Therefore, it is vital to strike a balance between offering support and allowing those you care for the space to navigate their own challenges. This approach fosters resilience in them while preserving your emotional health, ensuring that you can continue to be a source of positive energy and support when they genuinely need it.