Trauma Bonds: Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Attachments

Trauma bonds are intense emotional attachments that are often seen in situations of abuse. They occur when a person forms a strong bond with someone who has caused them harm or trauma. These bonds can be potent and can create a sense of familiarity and connection, even in unhealthy or abusive relationships.

Trauma bonds can develop as a result of past experiences and unresolved wounds. For example, if someone experienced a difficult or traumatic childhood, they may be drawn to relationships that replicate those dynamics, even if they are not safe or compatible. This is because our unconscious minds always seek to heal old wounds and correct past mistakes.

Letting go of a person you're trauma bonded with can be a challenging process, but it is possible with time and self-care. Here are some steps that can help you in this journey:

Recognize the trauma bond: The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that you are in a trauma bond and that it is not a healthy or sustainable relationship. This awareness is crucial because it allows you to take the necessary steps toward healing and breaking free from the cycle. Acknowledge that the connection you feel with this person is rooted in a trauma bond and that it is not a healthy or sustainable relationship. Understanding this is an important first step towards breaking free. It's important to be aware of and understand trauma bonds, we can work towards breaking free from unhealthy patterns and creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Seek support: One effective approach to healing from a trauma bond is seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who specializes in trauma and relationships. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your experiences, emotions, and patterns. Therapy can help you gain insight into the underlying reasons for your attraction to unhealthy relationships and guide you toward healthier choices. Reach out to a therapist or counsellor who specializes in trauma and relationships. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate the process of letting go. Therapy can help you gain insight into the Interactions and forces of the trauma bond and provide tools to heal and move forward.
Employing a range of therapeutic methods such as CBT and NLP, combined with hypnotherapy, proves to be an efficient approach for recognizing and comprehending behavioral patterns that may contribute to and sustain the client's trauma: Cognitive Hypnotherapy addresses the underlying cause of trauma and changes it allows you to take the necessary steps toward healing and breaking free from the cycle perception patterns. CBT enables the client to feel calm and manage negative emotions.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the person your trauma bonded with. This may involve limiting or cutting off contact, especially if the relationship is toxic or abusive. Boundaries are essential for your well-being and can help create space for healing.
Self-reflection: Self-reflection is also an important part of the healing process. Take the time to understand the patterns and narratives that have shaped your beliefs about yourself and relationships. Reflect on the impact these beliefs have had on your past and current relationships. By identifying and challenging these false beliefs, you can begin to rewrite your narrative and create healthier relationship dynamics.
Practice self-care: Practicing self-care and self-compassion is crucial during the healing process. Engage in activities that bring you joy, prioritize your well-being, and surround yourself with supportive and understanding people. Remember that healing takes time and patience, so be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey.
Process your emotions: Allow yourself to feel and process the emotions that arise during this journey. It's normal to experience a range of emotions, including grief, anger, and sadness. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in creative outlets can help you express and release these emotions.
Challenge negative beliefs: Identify and challenge any negative beliefs or narratives that may be keeping you attached to the trauma bond. Recognize that you deserve healthy and loving relationships and that you are worthy of healing and happiness.
Focus on personal growth: Use this opportunity to focus on your personal growth and self-discovery. Explore your interests, set goals, and invest in activities that help you build a strong sense of self. This can help you create a fulfilling and independent life beyond the trauma bond. It's important to remember that healing from a trauma bond is a personal and unique process. What works for one person may not work for another. So, it's essential to find the approach and support that resonates with you.

Letting go of a trauma takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself throughout the process and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. With dedication and support, you can break free from the trauma bond and create a healthier and happier future for yourself.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapies

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that focuses on the way you think, feel and behave to help you cope with difficulties you might be facing. At its core, CBT understands that our thoughts, feelings, bodies and behaviours are all intrinsically connected. When we have difficulties in any one of these areas, it automatically affects the others, sometimes resulting in a vicious cycle where people feel trapped by a problem.

CBT helps people to identify and then disrupt these vicious cycles by intervening at multiple levels to allow positive change to happen. It currently has the widest evidence base of all of the talking therapies and is an effective way of treating many different mental and physical health conditions.

Third Wave Therapies/Third Wave CBT

These therapies include acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), mindfulness, and compassion-focused therapy (CFT). Whilst pure CBT is often focused on helping people to enhance their problem-solving skills, not all problems can be easily solved. These therapies, therefore, shift the emphasis away from the thoughts, feelings and behaviours and instead focus on the relationship that we have with them. This shift seems quite small but it has significant implications for what we do in therapy and how we work with your difficulties. Third wave therapies actively move away from the idea that certain coping styles or emotional experiences are pathological or ‘wrong’. Instead, they focus on helping you feel more at ease with yourself and the world, and more attuned to the things that matter to you when deciding how to behave or react.

Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR was initially developed to help people experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). EMDR has a good evidence base and is now considered a gold standard in trauma treatment. Research has taught us that traumatic memories are organised in a particular way in the brain. They are isolated from other memories, which means that they can return unpredictably, causing sudden and significant distress when they do. During the session the EMDR therapist guides a client’s eyes in a bilateral movement to activate both right and left brain hemispheres. This movement helps the brain to access, integrate and desensitise the traumatic memories. Other bilateral stimulation methods can also be used such as, tapping either side of the body or listening to sounds alternately in each ear.

EMDR specialists are now helping with more than just trauma, and also work with difficulties such as chronic pain, phobias, anxiety disorders, addiction and weight loss.

Family Therapy

Family therapy, also known as family, systemic and couple psychotherapy, helps people in close relationships to help each other. It views difficulties as often arising between people and within relationships. The approach enables family members, couples and others who care about each other to express and explore difficult thoughts and emotions safely, to understand each other’s perspectives and to better appreciate each other’s needs. Family and couple therapists support families to build on resources they already have and make useful and long-lasting changes in their relationships and their lives.

Family therapists work with individuals, couples, families and different forms of kinships. Research has shown that couple and family therapy can be effective for a range of difficulties.

Our family therapists work with individuals, couples, families and different forms of kinships. Many of our clinical psychologists also use these approaches and integrate systemic skills and thinking into other models of therapy, such as CBT.

Clinical Hypnotherapy is a powerful therapeutic approach that specifically targets and challenges those negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs that often plague individuals struggling with psychological issues

We engage directly with the unconscious mind and utilise the power of suggestion to assist individuals in making positive changes in their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Hypnotherapy addresses specific issues, reducing or eliminating symptoms, allowing clients to cultivate a more positive and empowering attitude toward themselves and their abilities. Utilising a blended approach in providing practical and pragmatic support to help the client overcome a multitude of issues, hypnotherapy evolves and expands as a powerful tool for healing and transformation. It is employed in various therapeutic approaches, including stress management, pain relief, smoking cessation, weight loss, phobia treatment, enhancing self-esteem and confidence, and fostering spiritual growth. combined with other techniques, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming, and mindfulness.