The Importance of Self-Compassion

If we keep using negative, critical, derogatory language to describe our bodies, then, naturally, we will continue to look at our bodies as enemies we have to punish and resent. But the good news is that we have the power to change that. We can watch our words and start a kinder conversation with ourselves and others around us.

Support mental health recovery

When struggling with mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression, it can be easy to speak negatively towards yourself for not coping better, or being frustrated for not ‘snapping out of it.’ Adapting self-compassion strategies to help manage these negative thoughts can effectively reduce the stress you place on yourself when struggling with a mental health condition.

statistically “individuals who scored high on the trait of self-compassion reported significantly less self-criticism, neurotic perfectionism, depression, anxiety, rumination and thought suppression.” Self-compassion can also be linked to healthy adaptive coping strategies.

Self-compassion embraces the whole person. “Self-compassion is an attitude of being warm, kind and understanding toward yourself, no matter your actions, thoughts, feelings, or reactions. Most people find it a lot easier to be kind to others than they do to themselves, with their default setting tending to be one of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

“In particular, when things don’t go to plan, an inner critical voice can bully and berate these individuals with all their shortcomings and wrongdoings, giving the self-imposed reasons why they could do better.”

The relationship we have with ourselves is the longest-standing relationship we’ll have in our lifetime. And as we all know, building and maintaining healthy connections to one another can at times be tough work; some may always be 'a work in progress'.

• Self-kindness vs. self-judgment. Replacing harsh criticism with kind, gentle words that offer comfort.

• Common humanity vs. isolation. Acknowledging that universally, everyone makes mistakes, and you are not the sole person to have done so.

• Mindfulness vs. over-identification. Observing your harsh, critical words without focusing or becoming all-consumed by them.

Encouraging self-compassion not only encourages us to be kinder to ourselves and embrace ourselves as a whole, but it has also been scientifically proven to have significant positive effects on our overall well-being. Specifically, self-compassion can:

Increase resilience

Resilience can be challenging, and it's easy to fall into the habit of taking failure personally. When faced with failure, you might become overly critical and hard on yourself, driving yourself with negative thoughts to improve. In the long run, this approach could result in burnout, low self-esteem, and diminished self-worth.

Self-compassion enables you to recognise your inner voice and become more supportive of yourself, establishing a foundation of positivity and realism. By doing so, you are laying the groundwork for strong resilience in the face of challenges.

Compassion involves having a profound sense of understanding and empathy for someone in distress, which inspires us to actively seek to alleviate their suffering. Many of us can extend compassion to others but struggle to show the same kindness and forgiveness to ourselves, especially when we make mistakes.

Maintaining a relationship with yourself would be incredibly difficult if you constantly criticised your past mistakes. We wouldn't hold a dear friend accountable for a single mistake, so why do we do this to ourselves and overlook self-compassion?