Overcoming Arrogance

Anticipating too much from others may appear to be a strategy for advancing in relationships. Some individuals seem to dictate terms, fulfilling their own needs without reciprocating much. However, this mindset of taking comes with hidden costs that impact both the takers and those around them. Individuals who take more than they give often experience anxiety, struggle with self-care, and face increased health and longevity risks. Recognising these drawbacks can help us identify unhealthy patterns and foster more balanced relationships.

The "hidden costs" of people who demand too much of the taker mentality in relationships encompass emotional exhaustion and burnout for the partner, the erosion of trust and intimacy, a lack of personal growth for the taker, and the eventual dissolution of the relationship. Expecting too much from others might seem like a strategy for progressing in relationships.

How Taker Mentality Develops

Expecting too much from others usually starts early in life. Children who grow up in environments where their needs are overly prioritised or where they learn to rely heavily on others for support may develop this pattern. Over time, this expectation becomes a fixed part of their personality. They come to believe that others exist mainly to serve their desires, which shapes how they interact in adult relationships.

This early learning creates a mindset where the taker sees relationships as one-sided. They expect to receive without feeling the need to give back. This imbalance can cause tension and dissatisfaction for everyone involved.

The Arrogant Attitude Behind Taking

Takers often display an arrogant attitude. They expect help and support as if it is their right, not a kindness. According to their attitude, these individuals rarely show gratitude or appreciation. Instead, they feel entitled to everything they receive and usually want more.

This arrogance means takers do not see the value in reciprocating. They focus solely on what they can get, leaving their relationships unbalanced and strained. Over time, this attitude can push others away, as people grow tired of being used without recognition.

Inflated Sense of Self-Worth

It might seem strange, but many takers have high self-esteem. They often believe they are exceptional and deserving of special treatment, even if they lack skills or achievements. Martin and Adams found that these individuals may not have tried many endeavors or developed talents, yet they maintain a strong belief in their own worth.

This inflated self-image supports their expectation that others should meet their needs. It also makes it difficult for them to see their own shortcomings or the impact of their behavior on others.

Narrow Focus on Personal Wants

These individuals demand too much and tend to have a narrow focus on their own desires, much like a horse wearing blinders. They concentrate on what they want and often ignore what others need or want.

This self-centeredness limits their ability to build deep, meaningful relationships. When people feel ignored or undervalued, they are less likely to invest emotionally.

Lack of Empathy and Consideration

Self-centred people often lack empathy. They struggle to understand or care about others’ feelings and needs. This explains why takers show little consideration for those around them and respond poorly to others’ distress.

Without empathy, takers miss important social cues and fail to build trust. Their relationships become transactional rather than supportive, which can lead to isolation.

Expecting Others to Solve Their Problems

Another trait of takers is expecting others to fix their problems. Instead of developing self-care skills or coping strategies, they rely heavily on others for emotional and practical support. This dependence can create stress for their partners, friends, or family members.

Over time, this pattern can increase anxiety for both the taker and those they depend on. The taker’s inability to manage their own well-being leaves them vulnerable and often dissatisfied.

The Health Risks of Being a Taker

Studies indicate that takers face higher mortality rates compared to people in balanced, give-and-take relationships. The stress of constantly demanding from others without giving back can take a toll on physical and mental health.

Anxiety, poor self-care, and strained relationships contribute to this risk. When people do not develop healthy coping mechanisms or social support networks, their overall well-being suffers.

Building Healthier Relationships

Recognising the hidden costs of mentality is the first step toward change. People who tend to take too much can work on:

• Developing gratitude by acknowledging and appreciating help from others

• Practicing empathy to better understand others’ feelings and needs

• Balancing giving and receiving to create fair and supportive relationships

• Improving self-care to reduce dependence on others for emotional support

• Seeking professional help if anxiety or self-esteem issues interfere with healthy interactions

  
  

For those who interact with this individual, setting clear boundaries and encouraging mutual respect can protect emotional health.

Moving Toward Healthier Relationship Patterns

Recognising the hidden costs of the individual mentality is the first step toward change. People who expect too much from others can work on developing empathy, gratitude, and self-care skills. Therapy or counselling can help uncover the roots of these behaviors and build healthier habits.

For those in relationships with takers, setting clear boundaries and encouraging mutual respect is essential. Supporting takers in becoming more self-reliant and considerate benefits everyone involved.