Essential Skills for Surviving Unexpected Situations

At times, unforeseen events can be more severe, such as illness or losing a job. These

situations can be quite unsettling.

In challenging moments, your greatest asset is your ability to think creatively and solve problems. However, studies indicate that negative emotions like fear, anger, and frustration can cause your brain’s executive network, which handles problem-solving, to narrow and function less efficiently. Conversely, positive emotions enable your brain to devise more innovative solutions.

How can you improve at handling life’s unexpected challenges? While you cannot control the arrival of unforeseen circumstances, you can control your response—and this can significantly impact how you feel and manage distressing situations. Here are four strategies to survive unexpected stress and possibly even thrive:

1. Pause before you act.

There is a significant difference between a reaction and a response. A reaction is rooted in an automatic part of the brain, almost like a reflex. Reactions occur swiftly, especially when we feel threatened. In contrast, a response is a deliberate choice based on a thoughtful evaluation of the situation. For instance, if someone cuts you off in traffic, your instinctive reaction might be anger, assuming the driver is intentionally rude. This anger might prompt a desire to retaliate. By pausing and reflecting, you create an opportunity to choose a better course of action. You might decide that retaliation isn’t beneficial, or realize the driver wasn’t intentionally disrespectful but simply inattentive. For many, deep breathing and counting to 10 can help delay a reaction long enough to select a better response. Visual individuals might imagine using a remote control to pause the situation. Regular mindfulness practice is another effective way to enhance your ability to pause before acting.

2. Don’t assume that the things you don’t want are bad.

Many people instinctively believe that if something undesirable occurs, it’s a negative event that will lead to worse outcomes. Breaking up with a partner might seem terrible, with fears of never finding someone better and being alone forever. Not getting a desired job might lead to thoughts of never being hired and living with parents indefinitely. This mindset inevitably feels terrible.

For most events, it’s impossible to know if they’re good or bad—and often, the outcome depends on your response. Ending a relationship and becoming despondent increases the likelihood of not finding another partner. However, accepting that it wasn’t the right relationship, maintaining positivity, and engaging in enjoyable activities greatly enhance the chance of finding a better match.

Since outcomes are unpredictable, rather than assuming a situation is bad and generating negative emotions, practice saying, "We shall see." Then, try to look forward with optimism.

3. Plan for everything to turn out well.

Many people hope for the best but plan for the worst. The issue with this approach is that actions follow expectations, and actions shape experiences. For a positive outcome, you must plan for it, as this leads to actions that create good experiences. An unexpected event wasn’t planned for, but you can still plan to achieve the best possible outcome. We can shift focus from a problematic event to finding solutions. Asking yourself how to improve a situation is the first step in planning for positive outcomes. Seeing a plan for improvement changes your perception of the situation. You regain control, leading to feeling better.

4. Trust in your ability to be OK.

Most people have faced multiple challenges in life. You’ve likely overcome several significant obstacles and numerous minor setbacks. While no one enjoys them, most of us endure them. During difficult times, instead of assuming failure, reflect on past challenges and ask, "What did I do to overcome those?" Recognizing your strengths is crucial for self-confidence. If acknowledging your strengths doesn’t come easily, ask someone who knows you well for encouragement. Redirecting focus from the problem to your ability to handle it will improve how you feel.